Saturday, March 27, 2004

# 77: Death McChocolate! • But Scotland is truly a great country • Homeopathic Tip: Glasgow Homeopathic Hospital

Death McChocolate!
Obesity continues to dominate the international media. Even presidents and prime ministers are talking about the problem. George W. Bush has urged Americans to slim down and exercise. Tony Blair apparently works out at a gym and he certainly doesn't look like a slouch. England won the Word Cup at rugby not least because they were the fittest team in the tournament - as an excellent documentary on BBC I on Wednesday night pointed out.
So the message is clear. Slim down, keep active and don't even think about smoking!

So it came as some surprise to hear about a new contribution to society from Scotland. Yes, the land that gave us haggis, smoked salmon, television and penicillin has now presented us with one of its greatest culinary masterpieces - The deep-fried chocolate sandwich [sic] This delicacy was released to the world this week by Ramada Jarvis, according to ABC News online who reports that this masterpiece of a dessert has become the fastest-selling dessert on its menu! I decided to research the dish ABC has started to call the 'Brits' nouveau cuisine'. Well can't they leave the credit where it belongs - in Scotland. They do have their own parliament these days, you know.

Yes, the people who brought us that other great contribution to the poshest tables in the land, the deep-fried Mars bar have revealed how their latest contribution is made.

Take two pieces of white (wholemeal is too healthy, contains too much fibre and really should only be consumed by animals) bread. Smother in chocolate sauce. Deep-fry the sandwich. Now sprinkle with sugar and add more chocolate sauce. Yes, more chocolate sauce. When it comes to chocolate sauce, the Scots do not want to appear mean. Serve with ice-cream and hey presto you have a new dessert. Eat your heart out France! You may have beaten Scotland 33-0 at Murrayfield, but your croissants, your crème broule and your crepe suzettes are nothing compared to this latest Scottish contribution to the recipe books. And listen ladies, at 1000 calories a sandwich you only need to eat two of these a day to get your total calorie allocation for the day!

But Scotland is truly a great country!
Now just in case anyone thinks I'm being a bit unkind to the Scots, let me make it perfectly clear that I recognise the enormous contributions Scotland has made to the world and especially the world of medicine. My good friend, the Scottish Jewish comedian (as he says 'that's two racial stereotypes for the price of one!') always has an amusing anecdote for people who dare to make critical comments about the Scots especially when it comes to the Rab C. Nesbitt stereotype of a drunken loutish Scot. 'Isn't it fortunate' he muses, that Alexander Fleming sobered up long enough to discover penicillin?' Arnold will be performing at the Edinburgh Festival (The Fringe) as will the greatest comedy talents from all over the world. Be there if you love comedy or deep-fried chocolate sandwiches.

Homeopathic Tip of the Week: Glasgow Homeopathic Hospital
I thought I'd stay with Scotland and mention that Glasgow has one of the finest homeopathic hospitals in the world. The Glasgow Homeopathic Hospital (at 1000 Great Western Road, Glasgow) like the Royal London Homeopathic Hospital, is an NHS hospital. Did you know that there is a parliamentary bylaw that guarantees the right of the British people to homeopathic medicine on the NHS? No other form of complementary medicine has been honoured in this way. Homeopathy is 194 years old this year and it retains a fine tradition in Britain with royal patronage and a bylaw insuring it remains available to all the people.

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